Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Laughing Zone Highlights


Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything.
So the other asked,"Why are you crying?".....
Teacher: 'Why are you late to class?'
Ramesh and Suresh: 'We helped an old lady .....
Amitabh - Han han mein chor hun, mein bazar mein kaladhandha karta hun, police ke record mein mera naam hai.
Dear Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have got a computer in our home and we face some Problem, which I want to bring to your notice. After connecting to Internet we planned to open an email account.But when ever we fill the Form of Hotmail, in password field only * comes. But in rest of the fields..
Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA. A few days later he got this reply:
"Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
We are sorry to intimate you that you do not meet our....
ZZZZZZZZ………
Best excuses if you get caught sleeping in your computer desk by the Boss:
* I was working smarter, not harder.
* I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on...
Laugh in Bulk
OTHER CATEGORIES
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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Sardar Writing Medical Examination



A Sardar applied to a medical school - needless to say he never made it because these are the answers he gave:

Antibody - against everyone

Artery - the study of fine paintings

Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria

Bowel - letters like aeiou

Cardiology - advanced study of Poker playing

Cat Scan - searching for lost kitty

Coma - punctuation mark

Cortisone - area around local court

Cyst - short for sister

Dislocation - in this place

Duodenum - couple in blue jeans

Enema - not a friend

False Labor - pretending to work

Genes - blue denim

Hymen - greeting to several males

Impotent - well-known

Obesity - City of Obe

Pacemaker - winner of Nobel Peace Prize

Protein - in favor of teens

Pus - small cat

Secretion - hiding anything

Subcutaneous - not cute enough

Tablet - small table

Urine - opposite of you're out

Varicose - very close
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Laugh Bytes 3



Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.



Knock Knock! Who's there? Atch! Atch who? I'm sorry I didn't know you had a cold!



"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."



This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! ... Now read without the word cat.




A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. And, with his lawyer's assistance, he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out.





ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.



GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

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Do you want to listen these "sentences" during a Surgery?




  • Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
  • Hand me that... uh... whatever it's called !
  • Oh no! I just lost my watch.
  • "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
  • Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
  • Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
  • Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?
  • There go the lights again...
  • Ya' know... there's big money in kidneys... and this guy's got two of 'em.
  • Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
  • Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off.
  • What's this doing here?
  • I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
  • That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
  • Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
  • You sure it wasn't this leg?
  • OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
  • Are his relatives waiting outside?
  • Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
  • Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
  • What do you mean, "You want a divorce"!
  • FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
  • This scissor looks rusted.
  • Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
  • Isn't this the one with the really lousy insurance?
  • Now from where did this spider come in from.
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Funny Quotes 2



They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. - Gordon R. Dickson

Men don't care what's on TV.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. - W. C. Fields

Isn't it strange? The same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously. - Cincinnati Enquirer

Drive carefully, 90% of people are accidents.
The difference between genius and insanity is that genius has its limits. - Albert Einstein

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. -Samuel Goldwyn

If you think you're really influential - try ordering another man's dog.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak. - Epictetus

Life is like a role of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment. - Rudyh

SHIN - A device for finding furniture in the dark.



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Funny Quotes

Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back


When on the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your dress!

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God. - Orson Welles

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time. - Willem de Kooning

Never judge a book by its movie. - JW Eagan

It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Procrastination is the greatest laborsaving invention of all time

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

The shortest distance between two points is under construction... - Noelie Altito

I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids. - Johathan Raban

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. - Horace Walpole

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. - unknown

A diplomat is one who thinks twice before saying nothing.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone away. - Cassandra Chatfield

Hard work never hurt anyone, but why take the chance.
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