Thursday, July 30, 2009

Funny Examination Paper (Try It)

STUPID'S EXAM PAPER

[This one's little difficult than last year's]

1. Write your name in less than 20 minutes and 20 letters (only alphabet are allowed, no numeric

digits or "_" allowed)

2. Sex?

( ) Male

( ) Female

( ) Don't know.

3. What's your age group?

( ) less than 0

( ) equal to 0

( ) greater than 0

4. What is 2 + 2=?

( ) FOUR

( ) 4

( ) IV

5. If you have one brother, how many brothers

does your brother have?

( ) none

( ) one

( ) question is too personal

6. Complete the following sentence... (4marks)

______ ________ ________ _________ .

7. If there are 365 days in a year, how many days make a year?

8. Read the statement carefully and answer the following question:

"My mother's daughter's brother's mother's mother's daughter's husband's wife is my mother herself".

Q. How many times the word "mother" appears in the above statement?

( ) None

( ) some times

( ) uncountable

9. If someone gives you a rupee for 100 paise, would you get:

( ) One rupee?

( ) 100 paise?

10. Write an Essay on "MYSELF" in not more than three sentences...

(HINT: My Name is ___________ (same as in [1] ).

I am a _______(boy/girl). (I am writing an essay.)

11. If the time is 3.00 a. m., what does your digital watch show?

12. At what time does the 11.16 hours Indrayani Express come?

13. What do you do on a honeymoon?

( ) Collect Honey

( ) Admire Moon

( ) Collect Honey while admiring the moon

14. Earth is Flat?

( ) False

( ) Indeed False

15. If A = B and B = C then is B = A?

( ) TRUE

( ) NOT FALSE

( ) OUT OF SYLLABUS

16. If you eat lunch during lunchtime, what will you have during dinnertime?

17. Think and write the present tense of THOUGHT.

18. Complete the following poem:

Mary had a little lamb

Little lamb little lamb_ (HINT: "." or "@" or"^")

19. This is question number

( ) 1

( ) 19

( ) 20

20. If 2 + 3 = 5, 3 + 2 = 5??

( ) YES

( ) I FORGOT TO GET MY CALCULATOR

21. Write full form of ASAP, as soon as possible ( Hint...As Soon as.. )

22. Opposite of the word "IN" is

( ) NOT IN

( ) CRICKET

( ) HOCKEY

23. What is the capital of India?

( ) India

( ) INDia

( ) INDIA

24. a, e, i, o and u are collectively called "vowels". What are e, a,o, u and i called?

25. Fill in the blank:

I am _________ a letter.

( ) READING

( ) WRITING

( ) SEALING

26. Who was the first MAN to land on moon?

( ) MR. ARMSTRONG

( ) MISS ARMSTRONG

( ) MRS ARMSTRONG

27. What comes first?

( ) the Egg

( ) the Omelet

28. Can you count more than five using your hands?

( ) YES

( ) NO

29. Spell M-Y-T-H-O-L-O-G-Y

30. Mrs. Sinha is Mr. Sinha's

( ) Father

( ) Brother

( ) Son

( ) Daughter

31. Car A starts from X and car B starts from Y. X and Y are located 100 miles apart from each other. How many wheels does each car have?

( ) One

( ) Four

( ) Seven

32. To reach the 12th floor of the World Trade Center, how many buttons would you press in the elevator?

( ) ONE

( ) TWELVE

33. Complete the following series [this question carries 3 marks]

1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, _, _, _.

34. This one tests your imagination. SUN is nearer to India than AMERICA because...

( ) SUN is smaller than AMERICA

( ) One can see SUN, but not AMERICA

( ) I do not have any time left to think on this one.

35. On which day Good Friday falls

( ) Sunday

( ) Wednesday

( ) Saturday

Doctor Jokes Page

Why I am Pharamacist

My Words Are Antibiotic,

My Smile Is analgesic,

My Touch Is AntiInflammatory,

My Presence Is Antiseptic,

My Feeling Is antipyretic. ..

Thats Why I Am Pharmacist.




Funny Definitions 2

Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist:

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist:

A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.

Pessimist:

A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

Miser:

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father:

A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:

A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Etc:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Funny Definitions 1

Love affairs:

Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.

Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

Divorce:

Future tense of marriage

Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower...

Dictionary:

A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy:

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic:

A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


Sardar Jokes Page 17

Santa 100 watt bulb par baap ka naam likh raha tha

Banta ne puchha "kya kar rahe ho?"

Santa : baap ka naam roshan kar raha hoon.

Sardar: in my dreams rats play football evry night

DR: take this tablet you will be ok

Sardar: Can I take tommorrow, tonight is final match.



Sardar Jokes Page 16


Santa to son: when I beat you how do you control your anger?
Son: I start cleaning toilet
Santa: How does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean it with your toothbrush.



Santa: agar bina daton ka kuta kate to kya karna chahiye?
Banta: simple, bina sui ke injection lena chahiye.



Bikhari: 50 paise de de maine 3 din se khana nahin khaya hai
Santa: 10 rupaye dunga , pahele ye bata 50 paise mein khana kahan milta hai.



Santa: Yaar bachpan mein 20 maale se gir gaya tha
Banta: toh fir bach gaya ya mar gaya ?
Santa: yaad nahin hai bahut purani baat hai.



Boy: dad, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai....ghar ke sab khilone chhupa do
Santa: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, woh apne khilone pehchan lega.



In aptitude test...River Kaveri is in which state?
Sardar: liquid state (brilliant answer).



INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room , how can you escape if it caught fire?
Sardar: Simple, stop imagining.



Sardar starts shouting in a store...... where is my free gift with this
oil?
Shopkeeper : there is nothing free with this
Sardar: it is written CHOLESTROL FREE.