Santa went to Banta s house and said, “Oye Banteya, lets go to London”
Banta replied “Yes Santa, par mainu English nahin aandi” (I can t speak English)
Santa assures Banta that his English skills are better than average, and that he d take care of him in London. Santa and Banta reach London, and pretty soon are sauntering down the middle of a fairly busy road!
A Gori Mem(blonde) pulls up behind them in her Austin Princess and starts of in English …… Oh Man! ,,, You are jay-walking BLAH BLAH don t you have any regard For the traffic rules in this country … etc.. etc..
Santa turns around, looks at the Gori Mem, and Starts rattling off the following at a fairly brisk Pace.
“To the Principal, Government High secondary school, Village Noorpur, Post Office Noorpur, Tehsil Jalandhar, District Jalandhar, Punjab, India. Sir … I am having severe stomach aches since yesterday, and my Phamily doctor has recomended bed rest! …. Please grant me two days sick leave. Yours Obediently …. Santa.”
The Gori is quite baffled at the sudden outburst from Santa, and quitely gets into her car and leaves.
Banta is amazed. He runs up to Santa and says “Oye Santa, tu taan phate chak dite”! Us gori de takkar di angrazi bol ke” (You put that gori back in her place, your English sounds better than hers)
Santa Shrugs off Banta and says: “oye yeh taa kuch bhi nahin, je jaada tain tain kardi na …. mainu Thirsty Crow te Greedy Daag Dono aande se dono suna dene se” (that was only a sample, if she would have stuck around I would have recited thirsty crow and Greedy dog for her as well).
Landing Problem
Once Santa and Banta try to land an airplane in the States. They start descending and as they touch the ground Santa screams, the runway is ending…”.
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air… They make a big turn and start descending again. The moment they touch the ground, Santa screams again “Get the plane up, the runaway is ending…”.
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air… They make a big turn and start descending again… This goes on again and again…
During their fourth descent Santa says : “Look at those stupid Americans, they build this huge & expensive airport but with such a short runaway..”,
“I know” answers Banta, “But look how wide they made it….”
Alive or Dead
Banta and Santa were working on a roof, when Banta slipped and fell to the ground. Santa leaned over and called out:
“Are you dead or alive, Banta?”
“Alive,” moaned Banta.
“You are a liar. I donot know whether to believe you or not,” said Santa
“Then I must be dead,” said Banta, “because you wouldn't dare call me a liar if I were alive.”
Santa in Archery Contest
Once upon a time there was an archery contest.
The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position…
He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target.
Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM…… ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers!
The second archer with a cape lines up in position.
He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts Robin Hood’s arrow into two!!!
He takes off his cape and screams: I AM…… WILLIAM TELL!!!!!! The crowd cheers!!
Finally our Santa in cape lines up in position… He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!
It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!! Then the man takes off his cape and screams: I AM…… SORRY!
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