Political Jokes Page 3

Bribe

A Politician was arrested for accepting a bribe from a contractor. A friend who went to visit him in the lock-up asked, “How are you going to get out of this mess?”

The Politician replied calmly, “I got into trouble for accepting a bribe; I`ll get out of it by bribing the person concerned.”


Safe Guns

Robert Shovestall, 37, shot himself while explaining gun safety to his wife in Glendale, CA, when he placed a .45-caliber pistol he thought was unloaded under his chin and pulled the trigger.

Shovestall`s wife told police that the incident occurred after her complaints about her husband`s 70 guns prompted him to demonstrate to her they were safe.


Dead man in jail

A man was sentenced last week to two years in prison for faking his death three times to beat drunk driving charges.

Peter C. Gentry was first arrested in 1991, but an official looking death certificate sent to authorities said he had died in a Los Angeles auto crash, and the case was dismissed.

In 1994, he was arrested again and sent in another death certificate.

A year later, Gentry was again arrested and supposedly died this time of “denzor hemorrhagic fever” in Africa.

There is no such disease.

Baby Food for Whom?

More and more baby food is being consumed by adults. Ten percent of the production of major German baby food manufacturer is sold to households without children. People of all ages and from all walks of life love milk pudding and stewed fruit prepared for babies.

Since a serving may have only 100 calories, many weight-conscious adults choose baby food for a snack. Manufacturers cater to the trend by recommending their products for “Young and old” and by providing recipes that include their products.

The German Nutrition Society, however, is not happy about the trend. According to its spokeswoman Anette Braun, grown-ups do not need such specially prepared foods unless they are sick. they should chew their food. “After all, that is why we have teeth.”

I demand a recounting

There was a political leader who was on the verge of being defeated in the elections. When he received a phone call saying that his wife had delivered triplets, he exclaimed: “Oh! I demand a recounting.”