Saturday, January 1, 2011

New Year Jokes

Quit smoking
A friend asks his friend for a cigarette.
His friend says, "I think you made a New Year resolution to quit smoking".
The man says, " I am in the process of quitting". Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.
What's phase one?
I've quit buying.



New Year's Eve Party - Phantom Guest?

Trevor's New Year's Eve party was an annual occurrence with numerous guests arriving.  During the evening, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to where the drinks were, in the kitchen.  He sat there happily, chatting away, for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. 'You know,' he confided to Trevor, 'I wasn't even invited to this party.  I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my drive.'  He continued, 'My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved, so that we can go out.'

A New Year Dream

Aishwarya was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Abhishek, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?'
'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered Abhishek smiling broadly.
At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Abhishek approached Aishwarya and handed her small package.  Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: 'The meaning of dreams'.

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